Monday, January 31, 2011

Music Monday




On Musiqtone, check out McFly's newest music video in the Music Lounge, my review of The Script's new album, Science and Faith here, and Runner Runner's video for Hey Alli in the Premiere Box.


The top 10 tracks for free download on Tweet for a Track are

The Aquabats released a new album, The Shark Fighter, buy it here.

A Skylit Drive released a new song, XO Fire, buy it here. Preorder their new album here.

Go Radio, Emarosa, Chiodos, and Decode have announced tour dates; check them out here.



Sunday, January 30, 2011

Homemade Pizza, Delish!


I am really sick of seeing commercials for premade frozen pizza. Looking for real cheese and natural ingredients? Why don't you make your own pizza? You'd know exactly what type of ingredients were going into your pizza if you did, and you can tailor your pizza to your own tastes.

My friend L and I decided to venture out into making our own pizza one night when we were bored and wanted a cheap, filling dinner. We were craving pizza, but we were not into all of the grease that comes with delivery pizza, or the standard pizzas that come premade and frozen that might taste like cardboard. We ended up going to the grocery store and buying some pizza dough from pillsbury and then bought cheese, sauce, and the other toppings that we were craving. That first pizza, we played it safe, using just spinach and turkey pepperoni. Since then, we've added sliced black olives, sliced jalapenos and sliced fresh garlic. Each time we make it, we are impressed at how delicious the pizza comes out.

Of course, since we don't have much of a money cushion, we shop frugally; I search though my coupons to see if i have coupons for any of the ingredients that we use. Usually Pillsbury has a 2 for 1 for coupon for dough or crescents, etc, which is awesome. Other than that, we usually just use the store brands of whatever we need.

The dough comes with instructions so making homemade pizza is super easy. You prebake the dough at 425* for 5 minutes. Then, add your toppings and cook for 8-10 minutes. Super easy and super fun!



Saturday, January 29, 2011

Manis, Flakes, Randomness, and Older Men

After meeting E and her husband, D at the synagogue event last week, E and I decided to make plans for this week. We met up after work and had manicures and pedicures before going to Pinkberry. We talked a lot while getting pampered and found out so much more that we had in common. It was a fun evening and I'm really glad that we did it. We were talking about how finding friends and people to hang out with is just like dating. You don't want to be annoying or any of your weird habits to show, or to do something that really turns the other person off. Fortunately, E and I really clicked and had a great time. She was so glad that I had texted her, and I'm really glad that I got up the courage to do so.

Other plans for this weekend were supposed to include going out with J and EJ from work, as well as J's wife and some of his friends last night. Unfortunately, E ended up going out of town this weekend and J's wife and friends flaked. J and I were going to hang out, but since I had gone to visit our other coworker, D after her surgery, the timing ended up being way off. I did get a call from my friend T while I was at D's apartment. I checked the message and found out that she and our friends M and R (wow this letter thing is getting annoying! sorry! I'll try to figure something else out) were going to Ghost Bar that night. I called her back and found out that they had not gotten there yet. I quickly went home and prettied up and met them there for a really fun night out. R is gorgeous and gets hit on by...every single person with a penis, so when we go out together, we are lovers. Always have to be there for my girls, especially when creepers or gross me out's come and hit us (her). I actually did get hit on last night (okay, i USUALLY don't because I look like a baby...or something-I don't know)...by this "British" guy (debatable...his friend had an accent..don't know if it was real or fake, asked if American girls preferred British guys over American guys--hey asshole is asshole in any country..anyway, the 'friend' never came over to talk to me, so yes)...and this guy who decided that since I work in pharmaceuticals that I make a lot of money...also a guy I wasn't attracted to anyway.

(L-R) R, T, Me

JDate updated: Nothing really happening-I messaged 5 guys last week but have not heard back from any of them..whatever, c'est la vie and all. I did get a message from a guy who I tack as a maybe...except for his douche face frat daddy picture. You know, the one where he has his face tilted up, lips closed like he's the shit...and to top it off, he's wearing/emphasizing his AEPI frat athletics shirt...HELLO YOU ARE 25...and this picture...says a LOT about you...not that there's anything wrong with being frat daddy at 25, but that does not blow my skirt up. Other than him, I keep getting an older man viewing me whose user name is about how he has 4 cats..and he's in his 50's....uhh no thanks. About 35 men have viewed me...a few that I have messaged have viewed me, but none have messaged me. One views me about once every day though...why he won't message me back? I don't know.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Winner $75 Giftcode to CSN Stores



Congratulations, Tammi! You won!
I sent you an email-be sure to respond to be within 48 hours to claim your prize!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Electronic Pickpocketing? Be Aware!

My mom sent me this news story and I felt that everyone needs to be aware of this. If you have a credit card that can be read through RFID (those quick scan cards that you don't need to swipe) pay special attention; everyone else, just be aware and be weary!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Teaser Tuesdays

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB ofShould Be Reading. I found this from the lovelySemi Crazed... Anyone can play along! Just do the following:


  • Grab your current read
  • Open to a random page
  • Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
  • BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
  • Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

"Not perhaps of neglecting this own interest. But of every other neglect i can believe him capable. If, indeed, it should be so! But I date not hope it. Why should they not go on to Scotland, if that had been the case?"

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, p. 188

Monday, January 24, 2011

Music Monday





On Musiqtone, check out A Skylit Drive's new video for Too Little Too Late, Matt and Kim's video premiere on the Musiqtone Blog, and listen to Cold War Kids' new album before it drops; link here,

Farewell Fighter has released their album, The Way We Learn on iTunes and Amazon. They have also announced tour dates here.

From NoiseTrade, check out free downloads of Kelly McRae's Highrise in Brooklyn, Fall (remix) by The Undeserving, Bayberry by Casey Cavanagh Band, Anthony D'Amato's single, Songbirds, and the NYC Sessions from Moi.


The top 10 free tracks on Tweet for a Track are
  1. The Weekend-Millionaires
  2. Hello Seattle remix/Firework (Owl City/Katy Perry)-Into Airwaves
  3. She was the Only One-People on Vacation
  4. Best I Ever Had (cover)-April Year
  5. Good Times-Christofer Drew
  6. In Darkness and in Light Sampler-The Maine
  7. Airplanes cover-Nathan Ryan
  8. With Everything ft Aaron Gillespie-Nine o five
  9. Detroit-Late Night Reading
  10. Hard to Take-Matthew Lush

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Single and Social in the City

This is my life...I was talking to my friend E at work and we both decided that we are in dire need of a social life and some romance....I moved to Dallas almost 8 months ago and have just now (as in a few nights ago) started to have a social life...We are both taking our own separate steps in meeting people as well as hanging out together with people from work.

I joined a popular Jewish dating site earlier this week. I don't know if I'm really expecting anything out of it, but I figure, it's worth a shot. In December, I went to an event held by one of the synagogues in Dallas and met a few people from their Young Adult program. On Thursday night, the synagogue held a really cool event in celebration of Tu Bi Shvat (this is the Jewish version of Arbor Day). The event included a wine tasting, dinner, and a movie: Bugs-A Rainforest Story. I went to this event pretty much knowing no one, but met a few people around my age who seem really cool. We exchanged numbers and will hopefully hang out soon.

Why am I blogging this? Well, life isn't always the same friends you've always had; your friends don't always live where you live. I moved to Dallas knowing no one, and it's taken me 7 months to get out of my super shy shell, stop wallowing and meet people. It is not easy meeting people and making a life for yourself on your own. It doesn't come easy to everyone and people need to know that.

So here starts my journey of REALLY making my life in Dallas real...this is my home now and it's time for some social life and fun in the mix.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Sarah Pierce, Rich O'Toole, and Reckless Kelly at Houston House of Blues

I spent New Years in Houston at the House of Blues with my friends finally seeing Reckless Kelly in concert. I've liked Reckless Kelly for a few years now, since my friend J and her ex introduced me to them. It took me a few years to finally be in the right place at the right time to see them live-they were great!

Sarah Pierce was the first opener at this show. Her music was closer to more traditional country music instead of the pop country mix that is usually played on the radio. She has a great voice that really works with her music it really fits the style and the songs that she sings. She sang her own songs such as Cowboy's Daughter and Song About the Radio.

For more Sarah Pierce, check her out on her Official Website.

Rich O'Toole came up after Sarah. Rich went to school at Texas A&M and is very well known there for his music and personality. Some of his songs reflect college life and others are about love and life. His music can also be considered closer to traditional country music with some rock added in. He played Everything's Legal Until You Get Caught, Adios Mio, Casino Queen, In a Minute or Two, and Marijuana Jalapenos. He also played a cover of Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days, which I absolutely loved.

For more Rich O'Toole, check him out on his Official Website, Myspace, Twitter, iLike, Youtube, and Facebook.

Reckless Kelly came on to bring the show home. Their music is traditional country with rock twang. I have been waiting to see them for such a long time and the wait was so worth it. They played so many of their songs and brought the new year in strong. Among those songs were Hey Say May, Teenage Wasteland, Wicked Twisted Road, Walking Away and so much more.

For more Reckless Kelly, check them out on their Official Website, Facebook, and Twitter.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Good Charlotte-Cardiology [Album Review]

t is hard to believe that in the almost 15 years of Good Charlotte's presence on the music scene that they have only released four albums. Though their music has changed through these years, the quality of their songs and albums has never been compromised. Their newest album, Cardiology is an expansion of the band's creativity, depth, and talent. The songs on this album are honest and come from a deeper place in the heart than some other songs that Good Charlotte has put out.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Teaser Tuesdays

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB ofShould Be Reading. I found this from the lovelySemi Crazed... Anyone can play along! Just do the following:


  • Grab your current read
  • Open to a random page
  • Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
  • BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
  • Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

"And was Denny convinced that Wickham would not marry? Did he know of their intending to go off? Had Colonel Forster seen Denny himself?"

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, p. 194

Monday, January 17, 2011

Music Monday





On Musiqtone, check out Taylor Swift's video for Back to December and Farewell to Freeway in the Premiere Box and an interview with Good Old War.


Noise Trade has free downloads up from A Violent Flame, Matthew Perryman Jones, Lauren Lucas, Tyler Heath, and Ocean Is Theory.


The top ten tracks for free download on Tweet for a Track are

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Check out Alpine Weight Loss Secrets Book Giveaway at Frugal but not Cheap

Hey everyone!

My friend, Melissa at Frugal but not Cheap is hosting her first giveaway. She reviewed and is giving away a copy of Alpine Weight Loss Secrets. If you are interested in this fabulous book, check out her giveaway here.

A bonus for my readers who have or are thinking about entering my $75 CSN Stores Giftcode Giveaway-if you enter her giveaway, you can get 2 bonus entries to my giveaway. If you leave a genuine comment on any of her posts, you can get 1 extra entry to my giveaway. Be sure to leave a link to the page that you commented on so that I can verify these entries. My CSN giveaway ends on January 27, and Melissa's Alpine Weight Loss Secrets book giveaway ends on January 31, so get your entries in while you can!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

No Spend Save-Uary from Melissa at Frugal but not Cheap

My friend, Melissa over at Frugal but not Cheap has started No Spend Save-Uary, which I thought was a great idea....I'm always worried about what I am spending and always trying to find ways to save money. You can check out her progress and ideas here

I'm really big on the Sunday paper coupon insert...I try to bring coupons for as many things on my list as I can find whenever I go grocery shopping. I also really love Kohls; I got a Kohls card and am loving the extra savings I get for having that. I always bring my lunch to work; I make it at home instead of going out or buying something from the cafeteria. I shut all of my lights off and unplug all of my chargers while I am at work and keep my air conditioner up, or my heat low while I am out of the house. Since I am only one person here, I don't buy in bulk; I grocery shop once a week and pretty much buy only what I ran out of or need more of. I also am really good about paying all of my bills on time so that I don't get late fees.

Feel free to join us and share what you do to save money; can you go a whole month without any excess spending? How about a whole month trying to spend in a saving way? (coupons, specials, etc.)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Criss Angel: Believe Cirque Du Soleil

One of the shows that P, H, and I saw in Vegas was Criss Angel's show, Believe. I have not watched much Criss Angel, but I have watched enough to expect his cirque type show to be dark, mysterious, and well...a mind fuck. I thought i was going to see a lot of levitation, wall walking, and other things that we just can't quite wrap out minds around. Though these were aspects of the show, most of the show did not center around the eeriness of his Mindfreak persona that he has made so popular.

The show started with a joke magician and his assistants and a fail act from them-this act was supposed to be stupid and fail, but the thing I did not like about it is that they stayed and did things throughout the show. I really feel like this took away from Criss's Mindfreak idea. They were incorporated into different acts in different ways and yes, they did help Criss in his mind boggling magic, but I really do not think that they were necessary.

In between his magic, Criss told us about his childhood, his interest in magic, and about the dangers of what he does and how real it is. At points during this, it felt like this show was going to be a q/a session with him.

Aside from all of this, the show was very impressive. He levitated, he walked on walls and brought in his eerie magic for all of us to see live. I really enjoyed it, but it really messes with my head-all I can say is that it confuses my brain so much because it isn't something that I understand or can explain. I wish that there was more Cirgue du Soleil in it so that he could show us more of what he does. The show was a great taste of Criss Angel and I think that those who really love Criss Angel would enjoy this show a lot.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Teaser Tuesdays

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. I found this from the lovelySemi Crazed... Anyone can play along! Just do the following:


  • Grab your current read
  • Open to a random page
  • Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
  • BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
  • Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

"As she pronounced these words, Mr. Darcy changed colour; but the emotion was short, and he listened without attempting to interrupt her while she continued."

"Elizabeth disdained the appearance of noticing this civil reflection but its meaning did not escape, nor was it likely to conciliate her"

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, p. 130

This book was recommended and given to me by my friend, Steph. Everyone but me, it seems, read this in high school English; I was not in that class so I never got to read it. Steph LOVES this book and really made me want to give it a read. I am really liking it so far.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Music Monday






On Musiqtone, check out the band, Terrible Things, on the Hot Seat, my V-Seater with Mike Robins, Seth Giler in the Spotlight, and check out the 11 artists to watch for this year.


A Rocket to the Moon has announced their tour dates; they'll be touring with Runner Runner, Anarbor, Valencia, and Go Radio; check out the dates here.

Dates for the Reckless and Relentless tour featuring Asking Alexandria, Emmure, Chiodos, Miss May I, Evergreen Terrace, and Lower than Atlantis have been announced, check them out here

The Deftones and The Dillinger Escape Plan announced tour dates; check them out here


The top ten tracks for free download on Tweet for a Track are
  1. With Everything (featuring Aaron Gillespie)-Nine O Five
  2. In Darkness and In Light Sampler-The Maine
  3. Higher-Worth Dying For
  4. Dirty Talk-Fine Young Firecrackers
  5. Good Times-Christofer Drew
  6. Room for 2-Romance on a Rocketship
  7. In Case Those Lips Get Cold-Romance on a Rocketship
  8. Airplanes cover-Nathan Ryan
  9. New Years Day-Andy Zip
  10. B*tch Have Yoself a Merry Little Christmas-Young and Divine and Secret Secret Dino Club
The World Alive, For All Those Sleeping, Upon a Burning Body, Abandon All Ships, and the Color Morale announced the Smartpunk Tour; check out dates here

Daytrotter has new sessions from Eagle Seagull, MGMT, DJ Spooky, Twin Shadow, Lone Wolf, Active Child, and Happy Birthday.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

S.M.A.S.H.E.D. got a Stylish Blogger Award

I got this awesome award from my friend, Melissa over at Frugal But Not Cheap, thank you!! Miss you so much!!


1. Thank & link back to the person who awarded you this.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pay it forward to 10 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact those bloggers and tell them about their award.


So here are 7 Things about myself:
1. I graduated from Syracuse University on May 2010 and moved out of my parents house to an apartment in Dallas to start my first full time job
2. I love live music
3. Most people think I'm 16-18 years old.
4. I'm Jewish and went to Jewish private school from preschool until 8th grade.
5. I love to collage and do random crafts.
6. I absolutely LOVE to cook, but sometimes I get ADD and overcook things
7. I don't own any crew neck shirts that have the original necks anymore-i cut every single t shirt I own so that I don't look like I have shelf boobs when I wear them

Here are the 10 blogs I'd like to share this award with!
  1. Babes Rockin Mami
  2. Boobies Babies and a Blog
  3. A Nut in a Nutshell
  4. The Adventures of Paul and Natalie
  5. Koehmstedt
  6. Posh on a Budget
  7. Student Saving Bucks
  8. Thanks, Mail Carrier
  9. Marvelous Mom Reviews
  10. Make Ahead Meals for Busy Moms

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Banana Hammock!


just sharing a laugh...they do sell these at Bed Bath and Beyond if anyone is interested in purchasing on to hold their bananas and other fruit.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

No Direction Home-Bob Dylan's Story and Celebrities Today

I love watching movies...I also love documentary or behind the music types of movies. A bit ago, I watched No Direction Home, the documentary about Bob Dylan's music career.

Bob Dylan's music is very deep, thoughtful, and moving. It makes you think, and when thought about in context with the times Dylan was living in, he seems to be stating political opinion and taking a side. Though Dylan did express these ideas and opinions, he never took a political stance on any issues. This makes things interesting as some of his songs became anthems for peace movements and protests as the issues in his songs align with the beliefs of those who did take a heavy political position around those times. Dylan became an idol for those seeking peace and justice for past and present injustices.

As Dylan's popularity grew, people saw him more and more as a political character instead of the ingenious and unique lyricist that he was. Fans came to expect this from him, so when Dylan began to change up his sets or perform different songs at the concerts that he was headlining, he often got boo'd. His concert attendees (it bothers me to call them fans) openly said how much they hated the shows and didn't like that he did not bring more activism in to his shows.

These demands and insults to his talent drove Dylan to detest the fame he had gained. I feel that this proves how real of a person that Dylan was. He refused to compromise what he liked to write and play just because his fans could not shake an image of him that they put in their own heads. He deserved more respect back then than he got, and years later after songs that he penned have become popular through others, he is finally getting some of the respect and recognition that he deserves.

It's sad and upsetting when fans start to expect things from their favorite celebrities. Today, social media makes it so easy to feel closer to these celebrities and feel like they owe us something. We get on their heels for everything and sometimes forget that they are real people too, with lives and feelings and their own directions that we may never know about. Why do fans think that they can dictate the lives of their favorite celebrities? Even before social media happened, Dylan got fed up with this. How many true artists of today are going to get fed up with the attention that their fame has brought them? We as fans need to remember to respect celebrities; we don't have to always like them or what they do, but fans should not be the reason that a celebrity drops off from what they are passionate about doing.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Teaser Tuesdays

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. I found this from the lovelySemi Crazed... Anyone can play along! Just do the following:


  • Grab your current read
  • Open to a random page
  • Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
  • BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
  • Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!
"The hook-nosed teacher looked past Quirrell's turban straight into Harry's eyes-and a sharp, hot pain shot across the scar on Harry's forehead."

"Harry watched Snape for a while, but Snape didn't look at him again"

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling, page 126

Monday, January 3, 2011

Music Monday




On Musiqtone, check out the two bands in You Gotta Know for January, check out Steph and Christina's top ten albums of 2010 in Spinning The Music, and Runner Runner's video for the acoustic version of Hey All in the Premiere Box.

Noisetrade has free music to download from Bess Rogers here, Remedy Drive here, Brianna Gaither here, Kacie Williams here, and Ben Montague here.

The top 10 free tracks to download from Tweet for a Track
  1. In Darkness and in Light Sampler-The Maine
  2. Pieturi Mani Sev Klat-Instrumenti
  3. Bitch Have Yoself a Merry Little Christmas Time-Young&Divine and Secret Secret Dino Club
  4. Room for 2-Romance on a Rocketship
  5. In Case Those Lips Get Cold-Romance on a Rocketship
  6. Higher-Worth Dying For
  7. Good Times-Christofer Drew
  8. Up Up and Away (Kid Cudi Cover)-Plug In Stereo
  9. Magic-Plug in Stereo
  10. In My Arms-Josiah Bell

Sign up for Farewell Fighter's mailing list and download their new single Love, Lust, or Losing It for free here

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Vampires Suck [Movie Review]

So by now, we all know that once a movie with a cult or seemingly ridiculous following comes out, the team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer begin writing a could be hilariously funny, could be incredibly annoying parody of these movies. Friedberg and Seltzer have been part of the writing minds behind movies such as the Scary Movie movies, Not Another Teen Movie, and Meet the Spartans. These movies often put dirty, raunchy, rude, and ridiculous spins on the movies that they are making fun of. They are definitely over the top and elicit many eye rolls, but often express just what you were thinking about the original movies.

The Twilight Saga has a ridiculously cult following; this is not to say that they have a larger fandom than other saga or sequel movies, but I do feel like more of the "hardcore" Twilight fans are...crazy...my apologies if this offends anyone, but there is a line that fans can cross into crazy psycho land...and from what I've seen and experienced...a lot of Twilight fans have obliterated this line. Yes, I have seen and read all of the Twilight movies and books...while the stories are compelling, I don't think that they books are that well written, and the movies are just SO angsty and annoying which incidentally put Vampires Suck right up my alley.

Basically Vampires Suck takes aspects from the Twilight films that had already been released; the most obnoxious or ridiculous aspects of course, exaggerates them, and builds the parody film around them. Though I do mildly enjoy the Twilight films, I was laughing out loud at Vampires Suck. A lot of the things that they made fun of, I have not only mentioned, but completely agree with how they made fun of them in the parody movie. Though it was hilarious, the jokes made on Vampires Suck (just like all of the other movies of this type) do get a little tired. I think the backlash that these films get are just as funny as the parodies themselves.

I guess I like these movies because..as crappy as they may be, they remind us not to take things so seriously...it's okay to enjoy things, but fandoms can get scary...that is where Friedberg and Seltzer come in.


Saturday, January 1, 2011

Well what is a family anyway? They're just a group of people who make you feel less alone and really loved

This quote is from the series finale of Mary Tyler Moore, and I could not agree more. Not only does this describe what a really great related family should be, it also describes how friends can actually be your family. Through high school, college and other things in the past 5 years, I have met so many different people. Some of the relationships have come up disappointing, but I have also made some of my closest and best friends through all of this. Some of it was realizing the great friends that I had and others clicked so well that it felt like we had known each other forever.

Since I live far away from my family and most of my friends, memories, text messages, and phone calls are sometimes the only things I have to hang on to when I'm having one of those days. I know that when I'm feeling lonely (which is kind of inevitable when you live far away from everyone), all I have to do is say"hey" to one of these special people. I know that they are there for me and will pick me up when I'm feeling down. It's great to know and really experience how friends can become family, and how family members can become friends as well. It really is this love, from all of them, that keeps loneliness from putting my light out.